ASK WONKO A QUESTION
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| 29.Nov.2008 23:25 | | Re: The Universe |
| There are many things that are uncertain. Much like how one does not know exactly what I will type in these next sentences. Much in the same thought as how I don't know what I'll type in these sentences. Barring a sudden burst of crazy, which is not too uncommon in certain philosophical fields, the statements might make sense to some. Despite this fact, many will not understand exactly what has been said or what was implied in the mentioning of said fact. To that end, there are many questions that demand attention but many can only imagine one happening at one time. Why is this? |
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| 9.Nov.2008 12:31 | | From: Voice of the Onions - UK |
| Re: Tea |
Dear Mr Wonko, I was enjoying a refreshing cup of tea this very morning when a multitude of very, very, very tiny Dr Watsons suddenly rose to the surface, swimming about in it before my very eyes. Please correct me if I am wrong, but miniature Sherlock Holmes sidekicks do not come as standard with common black tea, or any other kind of tea for that matter. At least, not as far as I know. They were exceedingly small Dr Watsons. I would even go as far as to say that they were nano-Watsons. Very, very, very, very, very, very tiny Dr Watsons. Large Dr Watsons, they were not. They were all having little epileptic fits and screeching at me! Yes, screeching at me they were! "Screeeech!!... Screeeeeeeeeeech!!!...Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech!!!!!!" Then they swam about for a while, dived under the surface and were gone.
Incredible that they were not scalded by the tea, don't you think?
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| Wonko's Reply: |
A strange question indeed. I think you'll find that every object in your vision or universe is covered with very tiny lifeforms, mostly microscopic. (Your pillows are the worst) The tea isn't the ONLY place you see them... it just happens that the liquid magnified them so that you could see them a little better.
The real truth is, your tea was spiked with some hallucinogen that made them look like Dr. Watson. |
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| 27.Oct.2008 23:31 | | Re: Question |
| Why? |
| Wonko's Reply: |
Because I can.
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| 4.Aug.2008 14:50 | | Re: Life |
Hi Wonkybaby,
Why is it that where ever you go, when you watch pigeons walk about, five out of ten times they are crippled by missing or deformed toes or feet?
I'm kinda guessing this could be because they go where people go and, as a result, hang around on hard surfaces a lot.
I've never noticed this with any other bird tho....
Cheerz man
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| Wonko's Reply: |
I am confused. Are you asking why 50% of pigeons have bad feet? This is not an observation I share however pigeons are a species of bird that has evolved and adopted a very human-friendly almost symbiotic relationship with humans.
They live and exist with humans and human-made objects... which upsets humans.
It is quite possible that may of them have damaged feet because the humans of some areas put up really nasty pricks and blades and other devices to keep pigeons off them. Perhaps these are cutting them.
Sorry... I usually try to be funny. That's just sick and cruel.
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| 19.Jul.2008 19:07 | | Re: General |
| Hey, it's your fault cause the fireplace blew up. |
| Wonko's Reply: |
IT'S YOUR FAULT - the great improv thginking game is supported elsewhere on this site or on http://faultgame.com
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| 19.Jul.2008 15:21 | | Re: General |
| Yo man I like think you is all messed up. You be all looking like that ALbert Einstien and stuff. I'm gonna cut off yo hair and stick it up ya nose. |
| Wonko's Reply: |
Is that a question? I only know how to answer questions.
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| 17.Jul.2008 13:10 | | Re: General |
From one puppet to another, I think you're really cool. I wish you success in everything you do!
Signed,
Kermit the Frog |
| Wonko's Reply: |
In a way, Kermit was one of the first FROG STARS.
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| 13.Jul.2008 19:27 | | Re: General |
| So what movie are looking forward to seeing? |
| Wonko's Reply: |
I'm a puppet. Movies don't really interest me much.
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| 11.Jul.2008 4:25 | | Re: Movies? |
| I'm your half-sister PANKA. I was wondering, are there any movies you're looking forward to seeing? Hellboy 2 is coming out and the new Batman movie will be out soon. |
| Wonko's Reply: |
Cool. Guestbook marketing. How much did they pay you?
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| 10.Jul.2008 23:57 | | Re: Chat |
| Is there any way to speak to you outside of the outside? |
| Wonko's Reply: |
Come in through the window.
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| 10.Jun.2008 7:30 | | Re: Life |
Wonko, why does my mother always buy that cheap grey toiletpaper?
I'm sure we can afford something that doesn't grind my rectum to the point of bleeding. |
| Wonko's Reply: |
You know, this has always puzzled me as well. Not just your mother, but in general. Why do homes have cheap TP. I understand why public restooms may cheap out, only because some people use yards at a time, but in your home.
Come on Moms!
I don't have an answer, but I do have a solution. Buy your own. If you call her cheap, then I call you cheap. |
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| 1.May.2008 13:55 | | Re: Wonko |
| Do puppets like having their strings pulled by tyrants? what kind of stuffing do you prefer? In addition, does the webmaster treat you well? |
| Wonko's Reply: |
Apart from his hand up my ass, yes. Marionettes have strings. Puppets have hands.
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| 13.Apr.2008 2:08 | | Re: iPod |
| I keep having dreams about having iPods of different models (often nonexistant) and playing with the touch wheel. I already have an iPod, so what's up with the dreams? |
| Wonko's Reply: |
iPods are sexy.
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| 12.Apr.2008 11:15 | | Re: General |
can lighting strike from the ground up towards the sky?
if yes, how does it do this? |
| Wonko's Reply: |
I am no scientist, but I believe mots lightnight strikes between the clouds. However, as I understand it, lightnight does strike from the ground to the sky. It's just like a long spark between two things.
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| 3.Apr.2008 22:27 | | Re: which came first? |
| which came first; the chicken or the giant alien spaceship? |
| Wonko's Reply: |
The small Alien spaceship came first, and when they asked the alien to ride it, the alien said no. He was the first chicken.
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| 31.Mar.2008 10:02 | | Re: movies |
| could you please tell me have to get free movies online that do not cost money |
| Wonko's Reply: |
It's on the site; please arrest me.com
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| 28.Mar.2008 18:30 | | Re: Hey |
| Iam going to punch you in your mouth fart in your ear throw you off a building run down stairs open the door go outside pick you up punch you in the mouth |
| Wonko's Reply: |
Cool. I'm a puppet... you're a cartoon character.
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| 14.Mar.2008 22:07 | | Re: Xyzzy |
| Whats the point of that link, is it a riddle, a puzzle, or is there some random button, or what.. it's very odd. Or was it just put there to make people ask questions, like the blinking light on answering machines. |
| Wonko's Reply: |
XYZZY is an inside joke. If you're on the inside, it was funny.
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| 10.Feb.2008 18:32 | | Re: Life |
What's the best way to get over a broken heart?
I've tried getting p1ssed and screwing around, but that's getting old real fast.
I need an answer quick! I'm going nuts... |
| Wonko's Reply: |
| The Jarvik-7 |
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| 17.Jan.2008 17:17 | | Re: Wonko! |
| Wonko! Tell us about your childhood and early stages of your personal development!? Ehhh? Ehhhhhh??? |
| Wonko's Reply: |
I am a puppet and have no memory of the factory I was sewed in.
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